The story of the ugly duckling is simple and for those of you who didn't have a childhood or are totally illiterate or had parents/guardians/nannies that hated you I will summarize: Mommy duck hatches all of her eggs and most of them are regular, normal ducklings but one of them is larger, more grey in color, and makes an awful honking sound instead of a gentle quacking sound. All of his life the ugly duckling is made fun of and he eventually runs away.
Through some misadventures the duckling grows and it isn't until he comes home and sees his reflection in the water of the pond that he realizes that he grew up and is now beautiful and accepted by everyone who ever made fun of him. And they all lived Happily Ever After, The End.
Now don't get me wrong, the story is moving and lovely but like most fairy tales, it just isn't in line with the REAL WORLD.
The other day I was at work, making sawdust for a living, and listening to my music when the last song of the "Honk!" soundtrack played. (I keep my music in a random rotation.) As the song went through and the miraculous turnabout that can only happen in musicals and Disney movies happened I thought to myself: "Am I really so shallow that I need the undivided attention, admiration and forgiveness of everyone who ever made fun of me, called me fat, spread rumors about my sexuality behind my back and generally didn't like me?"
I thought about it. I have spent a good portion of my life trying to get away so I could become better. What I didn't realize was that I only wanted to be better than them. I didn't see myself as having faults because they created them.
I don't need my high school peers to accept me. Not anymore. It is time for me to move on. They can stay behind, work at the local grocery store, go to the local community college, get married to each other and raise their 12 children. I am moving on to bigger and better things. I am majoring in a field I love, I plan to travel the world and meet exotic people. I am going to be amazing and hopefully rich and if I find Mr. Perfect and raise my 2.5 kids then Fan-Freaking-Tastic. I am a wonderful person and maybe when I come back they still won't accept me even with my fabulous career and acheived life goals, I will still be the most amazing person I know and that is all I really need.
Loves,
Sarah K
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